I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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