Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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