so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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