you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
