i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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