Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
If I die, sorry about rent.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
