so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
