direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
