Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
