New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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