I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
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