i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
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