mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
