dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
