Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
