she takes plan B like it's going out of style
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize