youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
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so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
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I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
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