Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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