dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
