I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
