this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
