hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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