i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
So much rum. So many feels.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
