I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I didn't notice because vodka
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
