I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
