It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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