She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
