We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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