If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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