Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize