Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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