i permit you to call me
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
