The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
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