I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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