I love black thongs
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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