I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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