Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
