I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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