i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize