That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
