im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize