I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
