He asked to "fluff my boner.."
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
