Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
