yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
