glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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