my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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