We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Randomize
