Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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