I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
