maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
