but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
