I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Randomize
