I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
