I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
