What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Life is so much better after having sex.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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