what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
