Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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