return my video game
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Randomize
