Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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