Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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