I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
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