why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Your tits are I can't wait for
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
