You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
