coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
