Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
My pussy is not your playground.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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