Just mADE A PArabola og urine
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
