Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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